According to Merriam-Webster, balance is:
• the state of having your weight spread equally so that you do not fall
• the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling
• a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper
Without balance, we are “unequal” and prone to “falling”. The question is, how do we find balance when our lives are busy with work, family, friends, daily obligations, etc.…? We practice and plan, every day, that’s how!
It’s not an easy task. Life’s demands, timelines, and commitments wreak havoc on us making it difficult to even consider balance. My journey to balance, and it is an on-going journey, really began after I was forced to stop running.
I’ve always loved running. I was a track and cross-country athlete in my younger years and kept it up through college. I spent years of doing other things after college—step class, spinning, lifting, etc…After I had my son not only did I decide to take up running again, I decided it should be to train for a marathon (not a 5k, 10k, or even a half marathon-let’s just knock this running thing out with a full on marathon)! From a previous post I discussed my habit of doing things to the extreme, here’s a prime example! Anyone who has trained for a marathon knows it’s a time-sucker. You are definitely slave to your running schedule. For me, it was tough to get anything else in. I was up running at 3:30am sometimes just to get it in while going to school, working, being a wife and mom! Yes, pure craziness! After my 8th marathon my knees just gave out. They were done and were letting me know it every single day. I stayed away from running, did some physical therapy and started to feel better. This, I thought, was a signal to get out there a run again. Ah, I was so wrong, pain all over again. I had to face the unpleasant fact that I was going to have to hang up the running shoes for a much longer period of time. This was the defining moment for me. I had to come to the realization that my body was speaking to me and signaling that it no longer can be the extremist it once was!
The cool thing, though, is that I got to discover me and different things that make me happy and feeling in sync and that all is right with the world. I began to notice my relationship with my son grew stronger and really appreciated motherhood so much more and all the tiny miracles that happen each day because of it. My husband and I grew closer, as well and I found time for friends. My stress levels are super low now because I put less pressure on myself. And, my workouts? Awesome!!! I now incorporate all aspects of fitness—strength training, flexibility training, and cardiovascular training. I’m finding lots of joy incorporating different workouts each day!
Enter Balance 365 Fitness. No, it doesn’t mean we’re open 365 days a year (where’s the balance in that?). What it represents is achieving balance 365 days a year. Which, as stated on our website, sometimes means not even going to the gym. Sometimes, you just need a day to chill! Read, walk in nature, have coffee with a friend, take your child to the library, whatever creates that feeling of satisfaction—this is the feeling of balance!
Where does one begin to establish this crazy thing called balance? I’m going to share with you some things that I did that hopefully will help you achieve your balance.
1. Most importantly you must take an internal journey. Take inventory of how you are feeling internally. Do you feel tired? Are you sad or feeling melancholy? Do you lack motivation? Are you forgetful? Are you out of focus? Do you find your mind wandering thinking of the next thing you have to do rather than living in the moment? These are sure signs of not being in balance.
2. How are you feeling physically? Are you achy? Low on energy? Hungry even when you shouldn’t be? Again, signs of being out of balance.
3. Journal. I know journaling is hard to keep up, but if you take a few moments at the end of each day and write these feelings down, it’s amazing what you discover. I began to see my obsessive patterns as well as the things that caused a lot of stress. This is one step closer to balance and takes us to the next step.
4. Accountability! Facing who you are and what you’ve become both the good and the bad is imperative if you are seeking balance and probably one of the toughest. Sometimes it can be super hard to admit who you really are. My obsessions got in the way of so many things-having a social life most importantly. I didn’t want to face that my hate of my body kept me from doing the things I wanted to do-going to the beach, traveling, trying new restaurants, etc. And it created envy of others—“if I looked like her, my life would be perfect”. My abuse of my body placed many limits on what I could do-running, chasing my son, playing and just goofing around. And, on the good side of things, it’s tough to pat yourself on the back for accomplishments, but you need to, this is part of you, too. For me, no matter the success, I couldn’t seem to embrace it or allow myself to feel empowered. Once I became accountable for all I’d become (and this was not easy and sometimes really painful), I was able to create opportunities for me to become more balanced-balanced workouts, meeting with friends, creating new ones, reconnecting with old ones, spending more time with my son, loving my husband on a whole new level…I felt like I could exhale!
5. Setting goals that are realistic and achievable! We all know SMART goals. To me, the two that I see as the toughest are realistic and achievable and it really takes embracing number 4, accountability, to set goals that address these two. If you set a goal of getting up at 5am every day to workout but you’re a night owl who has difficulty waking up—this just isn’t realistic and your setting yourself up for failure. Knowing your capabilities and your limits are important to balance. Please know I’m not suggesting that you don’t test these areas because you certainly may end up surprising yourself. You’ll know when you are ready to accomplish the goals you set, be honest with yourself (on a scale of 1 to 10, how ready are you to work toward this goal?). If it’s a 1, perhaps rethink it!
6. Live in the moment. This is the only time that you will have that moment. Stay mindful! Being balanced is being mindful. I was actually quite sad when I started to reflect on my life during my journey to balance (again, still on that journey), and noticed how much of it had passed and how much of it I forgot because I was constantly worried about the future or dwelling on my past.
7. Listen to your body! Your body is so smart and will tell you when it hurts, when it’s tired and needs rest, or when it’s ready to go! Not listening to your body and pushing it beyond what it is ready to do can cause pain and even injury. It can also affect you psychologically resulting in a lack of balance.
8. If something is causing your duress, let go of it. I realize that if it’s your job, for example, that may not be that easy-understood, but perhaps it’s time to look for a different job, invest in a different career. Some things may take longer than others to let go for sure, but we are here for such a very short time, we can’t waist it being stressed, sad, mad, regretful. That’s not what life is about and certainly not being balanced.
9. Embrace who you are, who’s around you, what you have. Get to know yourself and learn to love yourself. I learned through all my woes, my mistakes, my experiences that I have a grand life! This makes me feel whole and when I feel whole, I know I’m in balance.
10. Finally, enjoy the journey! And what a journey it is!!!